Any prayer requests?
That’s how my lit prof
always starts class. This morning I was thinking, wishing I were there right
now to shoot up my hand.
Yes! I have praise!
Although, I have to admit, that
isn’t how I woke up.
It’s finals week. I was
cranky and annoyed as well as emotionally drained from writing some pretty
personal stories for my two thesis
classes.
Like normal I reached for
my phone to check the time – up before my alarm yet again.
This time I had a few text
messages. One friend said some things I didn’t want to hear. Just like friends
to share that sort of stuff we just have to hope it’s to benefit us, not to
sting.
I was in a fine mood as I walked
out to get started on breakfast. Scrambled eggs would help get me out of that
funk right?
That’s what I was praying,
anyway, just before I shared my news with my roommate as she headed out to
class.
I brought my computer out
to listen to a sermon. Recently in a crisis of emotion I told another roommate
to listen to Tim Keller; it would calm her down. For once I actually took my
own advice.
Next on my iTunes queue for
Keller was "Born into Hope."
Great. I just love listening to positive people…
Misery loves company and I really
wanted some at that point.
My annoyance at the title
decreased as Keller started talking about Concentration Camps in the first part
of his sermon – hands down my life is not that bad.
He quoted Viktor Frankl (Man's Search for Meaning) who
observed his fellow prisoners in Auschwitz. Dr. Frankl saw “life only has meaning if we have a hope and a
meaning that suffering and even death cannot destroy.”
And suddenly it was all
okay.
I was still stressed, and
tired, and hurt, but that wasn’t the point. Keller went on to say that
Joy lets you just sorrow. Doesn’t
harden you or make you bitter or cynical. The sorrow makes you wiser. What you
have is an amazing picture of the life that almost any reflective person would
want. You have an enormous life. You don’t run from sorrow. The joy enables you
to have sorrow. You don’t run from it! It softens you and wisens you.
(paraphrase)
My is beyond where I am right now. My joy is
beyond my sorrow, even if it doesn’t end it. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay,
because this isn’t where I stay.
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