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Suspension


Last week I went out with a friend. We were talking and getting the other caught up with the details of our lives. It was a whole lot of fun. I love conversations like those. I love friends who will talk like that.

Then I got asked a big question,

What are you good at?

And I didn’t know.

See, we were discussing our futures and our answers to the “what’s next?” questions that come after college graduation. I threw my plans under the bus that night. Because that’s not what I want. But my problem is: I don’t really know what I want.

What are you good at?

I’ve been thinking about that question all week. Truth is, I’m good at a lot of things. I just don’t know where I fit best. I have yet to find the place where the world’s deep need and my deep gladness meet. (Frederick Beucher uses the juxtaposition to define vocational calling)

Two days after this conversation I sat at my cousin’s wedding. It was beautiful in every way. And I sat watching my other cousins with their spouses and children and I had to smile.

They found it.

That night, in that place, they were doing everything they were designed to do. So I sat and I learned and I held babies.

It was a wonderful suspension to my thinking.

It wasn’t long before the night ended and the internal dialogue continued.

This weekend was wonderfully convicting.

Yet I am still working through my thoughts.

Family is wonderful like that. Especially the ones I don’t see often. They ask these questions and I shuffle my words for answers then spend the following days trying to answer for myself. And this trip, my uncle preached at church. Though I have to say, he always seems to hold that position at our family gatherings.

So… what am I good at?

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