Lately, I’ve been ranting. A lot. Mostly about wimpy Christian boys. Those guys who claim to be followers of Christ, who tell anyone they will do what God calls them to; yet they can’t get up the guts to talk to girls. Not just ask them out, speak to them. This isn’t from some desire to be in a relationship, but it’s annoying when an entire group of people avoid me. My roommate and I were talking about how guys on our private Christian campus have trouble making eye contact with us – notice, I did not say maintaining, I said making. They stare at the ground as they walk by; they look past our heads as they speak with us. These are not shy, awkward homeschoolers. These are regular, guys; guys who are even considered ‘popular.’
Upon talking, my roomie and I realized that between the two of us the number of Christian guys who have asked us out is zero. The only time a Christian man as shown interest in me, is after he knows I have an interest in him. Silly me, I am assuming college age male equals man. Unfortunately, when I am with the Church I am surrounded by boys who can shave (as Pastor Mark Driscoll calls them). They walk around in men’s clothing, reading books that men do, learning things men ought to learn and yet, they are not men. They have no idea how to put into practice what they have been taught. Rejection is scary, I get that. Not every girl is going to say yes to coffee or even be nice to you. But if she does, now you know to move on, she is not interested. Guess what, if you never ask her, you’re going to be hung up on ‘Miss Perfect’ without getting up the guts to know her.
Asking a girl to coffee, even dinner, is not a marriage proposal. It is not even an invitation to a relationship. All it says is ‘hey, I’d like to get to know you better. Let’s go somewhere and talk.’ Then as you build that friendship, you can decide to stay at a friend level or step up to another level. Not easy to do, but not something to shy away from. Be a man. Grow up and tell the world what you want out of life. Don’t sit around in your little man groups waiting for the perfect woman to come to you because honestly, the good ones aren’t waiting for you to get some guts; they have plans, dreams that they are following – and one day, there may not be a place for you in that plan.