Skip to main content

Tired of Losing...

We’re not really born with a fair shake, you know. We start out this life in teeny tiny little bodies that are completely defenseless then we grow into children who do not understand that cars whizzing by on the street are dangerous. Then onto teenagers fueled by junk food and raw emotion often ill-controlled. The twenty-something’s who think life is in the palm of their hands and their plans are the beautiful, world changing kind. Into our thirties we slow down a little bit, maybe have a family, maybe altered dreams completely, but the beauty is still there if a bit less dim. The forties and fifties, some say they’re the new twenties packed with whole new dreams about this new, wiser portion of life – the kids are growing up and that means more grown up time. Again. The sixties: grandbabies crying and the silver hair let’s opinions be heard with some respect. Seventy, eighty, ninety. The respect seems to dwindle as
Let the journey rage on
does ability. Dreams change to regrets and remembrances.

Life is somewhat predictable. Often disappointing. Not all get to reach each of the above sentences. The thing is life is not meant to be fair. It’s meant to be a journey. Mine may not be as long as yours, it may be double. Our strength is not the issue nor is our time to gain it. Rather it’s a discovery of why’s and of the greatest Truth to ever exist.

But still I’m trying.

“The great thing is, if one can, to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions in one's ‘own’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions are precisely one's life.” – C.S. Lewis

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

First in Awhile

The past year or so I have been working with the youth group at the church I grew up in. Such an odd thing to wrap my mind around. The group that in so many ways formed who I am today is something I still get to be there for. Though now I'm the responsible one. The mature one. As our interim pastor says, "the one with all the answers." (He JOKES anyway).
I show up and help lead where I can. Because it's what is needed. And it's a calling I feel I have on my life. To work with young people, to help teach.
The irony is that my journey lately has taken me through a struggle with discipline. Becoming the person I need to be and doing the actions to get me there. I watch my husband and it seems so easy for him while for me often it's a battle ofbut I don't want to. 
And I have to admit comparisons have only intensified that feeling. It's so easy to sit back and deny what I ought to do in favor of what's right in front of me. 
But I've been so blessed w…

I am Redeemed

You set me free. I don’t have to be, That old man inside of me. I’m not who I used to be. Thank God, I’m redeemed.
I’ve loved this song since it was released. The simple truth I so often forget. I am redeemed. It’s basic. Essentially basic. But why can’t I remember?
So often I find myself slipping into my version of “that old man.” I listened to a sermon awhile ago and the pastor talked about how everyone goes through times of desert. Then he started talking to me.
Just make sure you aren’t keeping yourself in the desert any longer than you have to. Longer than you have to.
The phrase played in my mind like tacky wordart. Big, bright letters swirling into sentences. Into meaning. Into my life.
I don’t have to be like that. I don’t have to do that or hide there. I am redeemed. Bought back. Made better.
Set free.
Don’t keep yourself in that desert any longer than you have to be there.
There is a special kind of grace in this remembering. I get to realize all over again how thirst-que…

Natural

My natural response to things is anger.
I’m a cranky person and it’s very possible that like Nick Miller, I’m aging into my personality. This old soul of mine has its downsides and a big one is not leaving room for other people’s choices. Even the good ones. The best ones.
For them.
I like knowing what’s coming. Being able to picture and plan. Super type A? Guilty.
But as I’ve grown I’ve seen the damaging of pictures and plans. The ones that don’t ever make it out of my head to reality. I’m creative enough to see beautiful things.
Fictions.
Learning that most will stay far from reality while not letting the flames consume me has been a challenge. I’m not saying I’ve done it. That I’ve made it and here’s my story of success. But that I’m discovering. That I’m starting to recognize the signs of anger rising, burning inside my head and heart – gulp, yep, I’ve got one.
What’s kept this battle raging is that it’s hidden.
I don’t usually – sorry Mom – blow up at people. I can hold it in or…