I have learned these past years – well, mostly months – that contentment is not what we ought to seek. To be set exactly as we are is not a helpful venture. We ought to be continuously growing, seeking out what God has for us. They say that change happens to everyone, I am quite sure I have said the exact thing; yet, when it happens to you…it does not seem to matter what others say. The terror is intense.
Sometimes, it takes a slap to the face to make a change, other times it takes a cross country move [I got both – within a very short period of time. To be fair, the move has been planned for a few months and it is something I have wanted to do and am enjoying fully; the slap in the face, however, wasn’t picked up by my peripheral vision and did leave a significant welt…]. The past few weeks have been packed with changes. I went from two jobs to zero, the frozen tundra to a town with “Beach” in the name, my family is halfway across the country, and my friend count has significantly decreased (distance does funny things sometimes, and when it doesn’t, hang out time is adversely effected…) I have never been more joyfully terrified in my life. Now is the time when I get to find out if I can ‘make’ it – whether I am ready to be a grown up or if I’m still just playing dress up. I did say it was joyful, and that is because I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. This state in which I now reside – physically, mentally, and relationally – is where I ought to be.
These past five years have been full of growth and challenges in ways I could have never dreamed. I have lost people I loved that I thought would be there forever, I gained friends I never thought I would have the pleasure of knowing, and I received wisdom not my own in areas covering the spectrum of life. The most exciting thing is the wisdom is still coming. It will never run out. There is never going to be a point I reach where, suddenly, I know everything. That’s where contentment can get in the way. We decide what we know is good enough, thus halting the search for more.