Skip to main content

Authentic Love

Three weeks ago a very dear friend mailed me a devotional book that was very instrumental in her growth, I would like to share a little bit about what I've learned from it.

This devotional has broken Romans 12 up into five parts – Surrender, Separate, Sober, Serve, and Stand Down. The section that has had the biggest impact on me is titled Serve. This section is farther broken up into the categories of Authenticity, Abhor Evil, Meeting Real Needs, Right Reasons, and In the Right Way.

I think the reason this section has had such an impact on me, is because this is where I have just come from and am still trying the; most intently to work on. I have Surrendered my life to God and because of that I have Separated from the world in many ways, and am still Separating in many others. Last summer I participated in a bible study with some other girls from my youth group, we did a book called Me, Myself, and Lies. It was really helpful in letting me see how I saw myself and getting me to the point where I now see myself – trust me, there has been improvement. That was Sobering. Semester helped me relate to other’s who held the same – or very similar – beliefs that I hold. That is Serving.

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Romans 12:9-13

Section One – Authenticity

“Authentic community occurs when the real you meets the real needs of other people for the right reasons and in the right way.” – Chip Ingram

The first section, you guessed it, talks about being authentic with other Christians. So, how can we be authentic? It’s like Paul says in Romans 12:9, “Love must be sincere.”

The devotional puts it like this,

“Contrary to popular belief, the most powerful force in the world isn’t a nuclear bomb. It isn’t a powerful army. It isn’t a natural disaster. It’s love. That’s because love has the power to change hearts…Love has the power to break down walls in people’s hearts that they probably couldn’t even identify. Love melts walls built out of bitterness and hurt. Love has the ability to heal deep wounds, to neutralize the poison of pain. Even now, as you continue to go deeper in your relationship with God, His love is speaking into your heart and changing you, healing you. It’s powerful. And it’s exactly why God wants love to be the driving force behind the relationships we have with other believers.”

That’s easy! is probably something that you’re saying at this point – it’s what I said anyway. As I read this part I thought that it wouldn’t be that big of a deal I mean, come on, I already love these people, so obviously this section doesn’t apply to me – so I rushed through the rest of it just to get it over with. Then I got to the very end of devo. Right after it gave the quote from Chip Ingram that I started off with, it says, “The foundational first step of all of that? The real you has to show up.” My next thought was simply, “Oh.”

So often I hide my true feelings and struggles just so I can keep up the charade that everything is perfect and even that I myself am perfect. “Well, what’s wrong with perfect?” was a question I, almost automatically and very defensively, asked myself. Absolutely nothing – but that’s not the point, you see, humans aren’t perfect; we physically cannot be perfect. So when I try to act like I am I’m lying to those around me. When I live my life gauging what I assume other’s opinions and reactions will be to my own opinions and actions, I make decisions, and act accordingly, based on what other people think and even sometimes based on what I think other people think. In doing this I am hiding away from having authentic communities and instead have given myself and those around me superficial communities where, when it gets right down to it, nobody honesty knows anybody.

I know that I’m not the only one who does this, not by a long shot, but when I realized that I tend to stand in the way of authentic relationships and making authentic community impossible I felt convicted. But shortly after that I felt fear – what if I’m the only one willing to love sincerely? What if I get hurt?

I realized very quickly that I’m not the only one, I know of several people that love with sincerity all the time and there are many more out there like me that just need a little encouragement to step off the stage and into being real. As to my second question, the answer wasn’t as comforting. I will get hurt. Anytime you open yourself up and show who you real are, you open yourself up to getting hurt and there will be people out there who take advantage of that. What I realized is that to love sincerely I have to follow Jesus’ example. He loves with more sincerity that is possible for me to love – agape – He allowed Himself to be killed because of His love for us. Knowing that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there will be people out there that will hurt me, but I have Someone that has been through far more that I’m likely to ever go through. And besides that, I’ve got some authentic friends to help me through. :]

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Journal, a Poem, and a Sermon.

God’s mercy is what is keeping me here right now. It is what has been molding me these past twenty years; and what will continue to mold me until He decides to call me home. But sometimes, it terrifies me. To know that I fall so short and yet, he loves me. I listened to a sermon tonight by Matt Chandler and he said, “What leads us to discipline? It’s love. The love of Christ compels us, it pushes us, it controls us…Why does the love of Christ compel you? Because you’re dead!” And something clicked in me.  This semester, God has been showing me that above all, He is merciful. Everything that He hands me is because of His mercy. Especially the sufferings I go through. If I were to have everything I want exactly how I want it, I would never know how much I need Jesus. My foundation of joy would be built on everything I have and all I have done. But seeing how quickly things and people I love can be taken away or placed out of reach, I know that nothing I have earned is mine to ...

The Song that Spoke

A huge problem I find in myself is procrastination. Today I was going to write this post, but when it came time, I decided to instead clean my room. Now I sit on my floor surveying the newly organized room I will leave in a couple of days. And again I think. I really ought to get writing…but really, why; it’s not like there’s a deadline or someone who really needs to read this. BOOM! (God doesn’t show me things quietly; He understands how thick my skull can be and tends to use 2X4’s.) I realized that I don’t write these things for anyone else, I write them for me so I can understand just what is running through my head. So I my thoughts… Sometimes we get to love people for a season; knowing all the while that it is only for a season, that it is not returned; all to be reminded that love is not all about me whomever the ‘me’ may be. The troubling thing with a situation like that is it can lead to bitterness. Knowing how things will turn out in the end does not always change our...

Inside the Lines

My English class has this reoccurring assignment; its purpose is to force us to learn new words. In all honesty, I couldn’t tell you any of the words I’ve used before this past week. I was asking friends for some difficult/strange words I could use; mostly because I was too lazy to actually go look for them myself. One friend gave some great words I’d never heard of before and will probably never use. The other friend, however, threw out words I’ve known since I was small – tyranny, justice, love. At first I laughed because I thought he was being funny, no way those are difficult words. Than it slapped me across the face like a trout (that’s for you Kellie!) – I use those words a lot, okay, maybe not tyranny, but I throw them around and I don’t really know how to define them. Even when I think I have a plausible definition, it seems to change in the blink of an eye; no decent definition is that pliable. Or is it? I’m afraid that our current culture avoids defining everything, especia...