Skip to main content

On Still Moving


Any prayer requests?

That’s how my lit prof always starts class. This morning I was thinking, wishing I were there right now to shoot up my hand.

Yes! I have praise!

Although, I have to admit, that isn’t how I woke up.

It’s finals week. I was cranky and annoyed as well as emotionally drained from writing some pretty personal stories for my two thesis classes.

Like normal I reached for my phone to check the time – up before my alarm yet again.

This time I had a few text messages. One friend said some things I didn’t want to hear. Just like friends to share that sort of stuff we just have to hope it’s to benefit us, not to sting.

I was in a fine mood as I walked out to get started on breakfast. Scrambled eggs would help get me out of that funk right?

That’s what I was praying, anyway, just before I shared my news with my roommate as she headed out to class.

I brought my computer out to listen to a sermon. Recently in a crisis of emotion I told another roommate to listen to Tim Keller; it would calm her down. For once I actually took my own advice.

Next on my iTunes queue for Keller was "Born into Hope."

Great. I just love listening to positive people…

Misery loves company and I really wanted some at that point.

My annoyance at the title decreased as Keller started talking about Concentration Camps in the first part of his sermon – hands down my life is not that bad.

He quoted Viktor Frankl (Man's Search for Meaning) who observed his fellow prisoners in Auschwitz. Dr. Frankl saw “life only has meaning if we have a hope and a meaning that suffering and even death cannot destroy.”

And suddenly it was all okay.

I was still stressed, and tired, and hurt, but that wasn’t the point. Keller went on to say that

Joy lets you just sorrow. Doesn’t harden you or make you bitter or cynical. The sorrow makes you wiser. What you have is an amazing picture of the life that almost any reflective person would want. You have an enormous life. You don’t run from sorrow. The joy enables you to have sorrow. You don’t run from it! It softens you and wisens you. (paraphrase)

My is beyond where I am right now. My joy is beyond my sorrow, even if it doesn’t end it. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay, because this isn’t where I stay.



Comments

Brett W. Tubbs said…
You go girl. I'm going to listen to Timmy boy when I'm feeling this way, too :)
Emlee said…
I can't recommend him enough! :]

Popular posts from this blog

A Journal, a Poem, and a Sermon.

God’s mercy is what is keeping me here right now. It is what has been molding me these past twenty years; and what will continue to mold me until He decides to call me home. But sometimes, it terrifies me. To know that I fall so short and yet, he loves me. I listened to a sermon tonight by Matt Chandler and he said, “What leads us to discipline? It’s love. The love of Christ compels us, it pushes us, it controls us…Why does the love of Christ compel you? Because you’re dead!” And something clicked in me.  This semester, God has been showing me that above all, He is merciful. Everything that He hands me is because of His mercy. Especially the sufferings I go through. If I were to have everything I want exactly how I want it, I would never know how much I need Jesus. My foundation of joy would be built on everything I have and all I have done. But seeing how quickly things and people I love can be taken away or placed out of reach, I know that nothing I have earned is mine to ...

Wind Storm

I have learned these past years – well, mostly months – that contentment is not what we ought to seek. To be set exactly as we are is not a helpful venture. We ought to be continuously growing, seeking out what God has for us. They say that change happens to everyone, I am quite sure I have said the exact thing; yet, when it happens to you…it does not seem to matter what others say. The terror is intense. Sometimes, it takes a slap to the face to make a change, other times it takes a cross country move [I got both – within a very short period of time. To be fair, the move has been planned for a few months and it is something I have wanted to do and am enjoying fully; the slap in the face, however, wasn’t picked up by my peripheral vision and did leave a significant welt…]. The past few weeks have been packed with changes. I went from two jobs to zero, the frozen tundra to a town with “Beach” in the name, my family is halfway across the country, and my friend count has significantly...